


Start and Stop

by Tabata



Series: Leoverse [104]
Category: Glee
Genre: Dom/sub, M/M, Stalking, Total Power Exchange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-23 14:59:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9662342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tabata/pseuds/Tabata
Summary: Cody finds a card waiting for him inside his locker at school, and it's the beginning of a nightmare he will only be able to come out of with the help of his Master.





	

**Author's Note:**

> **WARNING:** This story is an AU from the original 'verse. What happens in here has little to none correlation with what happens in Leonard Karofsky-Hummel VS The world or Broken Heart Syndrome. The characters involved are (mostly) the same, but situations and relationships between them may be completely different.  
>  What you need to know: Leo and Cody meet and find out that vanilla sex is boring, so they start a D/s relationship but they need guidance and they find it in Blaine, a professional dom with a blog on BDSM, who becomes their mentor in the scene. In this particular story they are way down the road, a TPE has been established and now it helps Cody deals with his past.

Cody finds the first card in his locker on campus.

It's been slipped through the slit on top and it falls in his hands the moment he opens the locker door. On the white envelope there is no name nor any other sign that discloses the sender, but he immediately thinks about Leo. His Master is not usually the romantic type – not in the common sense of the word, at least – but a mysterious, anonymous envelope sounds like him.

It might contain some instructions for Cody. The idea of having to follow written orders – and of what such orders might be – sends a shiver along his spine that dives right between his legs. He instinctively presses his tights together in anticipation. It's incredible the effect the mere thought of Leo asking him things can have on his body. Sometimes his needs surge up so strongly that it becomes a torture, especially because he's not allowed to touch himself when he's alone, unless Leo asks him to.

He should be heading to class, but he thinks he can spare a few minutes to open the message now. Besides, if the orders inside need him to do something in class, he should know before entering it. The envelope is not glued, the top flap is just tucked in. He opens it with feverish fingers, barely able to contain the excitement. Inside the envelope there's a simple white card, like those thank you note his Mom sends to her friends after having dinner at their house. On it, a single word: _Hello_.

It's not the word itself that turns the blood in his veins to ice, it's the way is written. The Ls have extremely narrow loops, the O is small and lacking embellishment, the H looks like a bolted door. All the letters are perfectly aligned and the same size, except for the first one, which is a proper inch taller. They're all connected by neat, straight traits. Despite the cheerfulness of its meaning, it looks like a very serious word. 

The fountain pen that has been used to write the word is a collector's model made of silver, with a very sharp nib. He can still see it lying on top of the desk pad. The very specific blue of the ink is so fine that can only be purchased on-line from a tiny shop in England that produces only a small number of cartridges every year.   
The fact that he still remembers everything is both so scary and humiliating that he feels his heart shrink to the size of a plum.

Cody looks around, fearfully scanning every single inch of the place for a pair of cold green eyes, but William is not there watching him among the people wandering down the hall. Yet, there's no doubt in his mind that this card comes from him. The mere fact that it's not signed but it contains a few details only he could recognize is proof enough of that. He holds on to the card, pressing it against his chest. He can't either throw it away nor crumple it, his mind already locking on the thought that _he would be mad at me for ruining it_. Eventually, he decides to put it inside his anatomy book and then stuff it at the very bottom of his bag.

He slams the locker closed and starts heading down the hall.  
His hood pulled up, he walks fast and stares at the floor the whole time. He doesn't want to meet the eyes of someone he knows, with the risk of having to explain why he's so pale, why he's trembling, why he's skittish – all things he knows he is right now, even without looking at himself in a mirror.

He doesn't stop until he finds the bathrooms. He enters one of the stalls and locks himself in. He listens out for any sounds coming from outside. The door opens once, but the steps that follow are light and fast, ticking, as those of someone in high heels, and they come in and out quickly, with just a little break of running water from the sink. It takes him five minutes to convince himself that nobody's following him and that the lock of this stall is safe. He closes the lid of the toilet bowl and sits down, and only then he allows himself to breathe properly.

Cody knows William got his degree last year, but there's no security at the campus entrance, so it wasn't hard for him to get inside even if he's not a student anymore. He couldn't know Cody has a locker, tho. Not everybody has one and, even if, Cody rented his just a few weeks ago.

He must have followed me, he thinks.  
The thought makes his heart beat so fast he can feel it in his stomach and his throat closes to the point that it's almost hard to breath. He slams his hand against the wall of the tiny, now seemingly constricting stall he's in. It's been so long since his last panic attack that this one catches him off guard. He even struggles to recognize it as such. Suddenly, he doesn't know what to do, and the idea that he might die crosses his mind so clearly that he wants to cry. It's frightening like the first one he had, like all those that followed, when he didn't understand what was happening to him. 

He's breathing so loudly now – inhaling all the air he can and feeling none in his lungs – that he sounds like he's thrashing in deep water, finding out that he can't suddenly swim anymore. And yet, despite his pressing need to run, he can't move his legs, he can't stand up. He reaches for the lock on the door, he fumbles with it, but his fingers doesn't respond to his commands, like the rest of him. 

It's the beep of his phone that gives him pause.

He doesn't even know how he manages to hear it over the mess he's making; maybe he's just used to always pay attention to the sounds of incoming messages, as it could be something he can't miss. He fishes his phone from his bag, its big, unicorn-shaped cover is a bit cumbersome, but the rubber it is made out of helps his grip. The text is from Leo, and it's just one simple line.

_Show me your face._

Just like that, his mind seems to click back in place.   
Suddenly, he can breath easily enough that his heart calms down. He sniffs and dries his eyes with the palm of his hand. His phone lies on his thighs, the screen still lighted up. Leo's messages have been very brief, lately. Extremely practical. He was way more wordy in the beginning, but entire paragraphs would kill the game, and so he learned how to be sharper.

Cody takes a shaky breath and sniffs again. He's got only five minutes to comply – it's five during school hours and just two at any other time – and he needs to pull himself together quickly. The time frame gives him a chance to organize. He allows himself one full minute to calm down, and by the time he finally gets out of the stall, he's perfectly collected again. He knows this wouldn't have been possible just six months ago, and he's so proud of himself that he actually smiles. 

After washing his face and combing his hair, he's got two minutes left. He sits on the sink and gives the camera his best not-so-innocent look. Then, he sends the shot, no words.

_Good boy._

Cody smiles again. If he realizes that failing to tell Leo what happened is like actively lying to him, it's just a thought at the back of his mind. 

*

The second card comes two weeks later with a flower delivery.

Cody has pretty much forgotten the locker incident, or at least he filed it as a very bad moment in his life he wants to get over with as soon as possible. As a matter of fact, it was pretty easy to drawn it in the many good things that are going on for him right now. School is going great and he's got friends to hang out with, not to mention his relationship with Leo. Cody loves him very much and he already lives with him four days a week – during which Leo never ever stops to be his Master, which is the coolest thing ever – and, after properly entering the scene six months ago, they have social meetings to attend to as a couple. 

So, when the doorbell rings and he goes get the door, Cody is not expecting anything bad. In fact, all he can think of is that Blaine, their mentor, invited them to speak at his next convention on D/s relationships and Leo is seriously considering his offer. It would be an exciting experience, but it would also be embarrassing, and Cody is torn between excitement and fear – which has been an ideal condition for him lately, now that he thinks about it.

“Yes?” He asks chuckling to himself as he opens the door.

The delivery woman is hiding behind a beautiful potted orchid. “Cody Petersen?” She reads on her tablet.

“It's me.”

“There's a delivery for you,” she says, handling him the plant with a sigh of relief. The orchid is not that big, but it comes with nothing else but its vase, and it must have been hard to bring it here without ruining it.

“From whom?” Cody asks, puzzled. 

The woman reads on her tablet again and shakes her head. “Doesn't say. But there's a card with it,” she answers, nodding at the orchid. “I need your signature here, please.”

A thought starts shaping in his head, or better, it resurfaces from whatever place he had locked it in. He doesn't have to accept the delivery. He could refuse it, give the orchid back to the woman and be done with it; but she's waiting for his signature, and he's too shy to tell her he won't sign. Besides, he can still throw the plant away later, right?

“Thanks,” he murmurs, giving her back the stylus. She probably says goodbye, but he doesn't hear her. All he knows is that she's gone before he can stop her, even though he's not exactly sure what he would say to her. Please, stay, I'm scared to read a card?

He closes the door and places the orchid on the table in the living room. It's an elegant flower with round white petals around a yellow pistil and long, slim leaves. He looks at it for a very long time and then reaches out and snatches the card from it, as if he was expecting the plant to bite him. Once again, the envelope is not glued, so he didn't send it. He was there in the shop, personally giving the florist his message to go with the present. Cody can see him smiling charmingly in his long black coat to whoever was behind the counter.

Since the game is out, William allowed himself more words this time. The card says, _Given that you unpleasantly need second chances. Don't ruin this one._.

Cody sits down on the couch, his hands shaking so bad that he needs to cradle them against his chest. William used to say Cody looked like an orchid, that he was thin and delicate-looking like one. Cody would always blush hearing that, because orchids were William's favorite flowers and they looked so sophisticated, like everything he liked, so Cody felt a little sophisticated too.

William had a little army of them in a special corner of his living room. They were mostly white, but a few were purple and one was a beautiful shade of pink. He would tend to them himself, all the while lecturing Cody on things he knew nothing about, like music or politics. William was fascinating and Cody felt so lucky that he was willing to teach those things to him, among all people.

At the beginning, that had just seemed an innocent passion, but in time, they became an instrument for him to torture Cody, like many things William liked. Almost a year into their relationship, William started leaving town for one reason or another at least twice a month, and in those occasions, Cody was entrusted with tending to the orchids. He had a list of instructions, which he followed religiously, but that didn't stop one of the white orchids from withering and dying on him.

Orchids are delicate flowers. One of the reasons why William loved them so much – Cody realized that later – was that they needed constant care. Or, better, once in a vase, they depended on you to survive, and William loved that. Somehow, he was holding them in the palm of his hand and they flourished because he let them. Leaving them in Cody's hands was an act of cruelty both towards the flowers and towards him, because he knew Cody didn't have much of a green thumb and he was bound to fail with such a difficult flower.

Cody remembers how scared he was to tell him, but he did nonetheless, because that was the right thing to do. Sitting on his armchair, his legs crossed, William had looked at him for the longest time ever, his face unreadable. Then, he had clicked his tongue, one of his many sounds of disappointment. His body looked relaxed, but Cody knew he could snap at any moment. “This shouldn't be a surprise,” William had said. “But it's not your fault, it's mine. I know you are not reliable and vastly incompetent, and yet I hoped you wouldn't fail me this time.”

Cody hadn't know what to say, except, “I'm sorry.”

“That won't give me back my orchid.”  
Nothing was going to, and Cody had felt the weight of his failure crashing him down. He was always trying his best to please William, but nothing was ever enough. He wasn't enough. William was doing everything he could to teach him things, and he never learned anything. 

After the orchid's death, William had refused to acknowledge his presence – both in public and in private – but he hadn't let Cody out of his sight either with the result that Cody would spend hours in his company without William speaking or even looking at him. His eyes would just skip over him as if he wasn't even there. He would treat Cody as Cody had allegedly treated the orchid, not caring for it enough.

After a week of that treatment – which later became standard procedure for any minor mistakes – William had given Cody back the privilege to touch him, and Cody was so desperate for any kind of contact at that point, that had welcomed the chance to pleasure William without nothing in return like a gift.

This memory makes Cody cringe and feel ashamed, but it's not enough to fight off the feeling of inadequacy that had the best of him when he realized what this orchid stands for. William is daring him to keep this one alive, and since Cody was _his orchid_ too, he's also mocking him for needing a second chance at his own life too. 

He wasn't aware of crying until he feels the tears on his fingers; like the breaking of a dam, he starts sobbing desperately, hiding his face in his hands. He can't run from him or his own past, and he's not strong enough to fight it. He will fall back into it, swallowed but the same pit of dread he thought he had escaped.  
It feels inevitable and it's so bloody scary.

*

The third card comes only a week later.

Cody has started to fear the mailman and the ring of the doorbell, and he doesn't use his locker on campus anymore, so of course the card gets to him when he is in a place that he thought was safe.  
He's sitting at Cinnabon, the cinnamon-oriented pastry shop inside the mall, and he's waiting for Leo to arrive. They were supposed to go together – Leo usually drives him everywhere in the four days he stays with him – but Leo had his finals today, so he told him to go ahead, which was kinda fun because it was something new to do and Cody had to take one bus and a ten minutes walk without wearing any underpants.

This date at Cinnabon is a treat, because Leo loves to spoil him as much as he likes to bend him over furniture at any given time. Blaine always mocks him saying that Leo's real kink is giving Cody everything he wants. It is ultimately not true – Leo can be very very strict with him – but they always laugh because Leo still hasn't learned not to blush when Blaine says it.

Anyway, Leo is in charge of the amount of chocolate Cody can have every day, because otherwise Cody would live off of it, and he always carefully balances any chocolate intake with an equal intake of fruit. Once in a while, tho, he lets Cody have his fun in pastry shops. In these occasions, Cody can order anything he wants as long as he can finish it. Now, as far as pastries are concerned, Cody has almost an infinite stomach, so the number of things he can order in just one session is pretty high.

That is why he's extremely happy to be here today and he can't wait for Leo to arrive.

He's just wrapped his legs around the chair's legs, unconsciously showing off his knee-high stockings in doing so, and hes' looking at the menu when a waitress approaches him. “Excuse me,” she says, sounding a little surprised, if not totally embarrassed. “Are you Cody?”

He looks up at her. She's young, probably a couple of years younger than him, and she's holding a white envelope she clearly doesn't know what to do with. “Yes,” he answers, and he hates the resignation he can hear in his own voice. He doesn't even wonder how William managed anymore, the point is that he did.

“A man left this for you,” she says with a concerned look in her big, brown eyes. “He said it was important.”

“Thank you,” he answers.

Like the previous two cards, this one isn't signed either, but the message is way longer. He wrote three full sentences in his perfect handwriting, all the letters are the same exact size except capitals. It almost looks printed. _Weird choice of venue for a romantic date between adults. Does your ridiculous boy know that you're unable to limit yourself when it comes to food? Oh well, maybe he will like the way you so easily gain weight._

The first thing that gets to Cody is that William knows about Leo, and that makes him feel sick. 

This one-way exchange between the two of them, he could deal with. Despite how much he disclosed of his past to his family and friends, Cody has always considered William his personal monster to fight, his own burden to bear. There is William's world, unhealthy and twisted, from which Cody comes from, and there's the real world, in which Cody is living now, and the two should never mix. 

The fact that William knows of Leo's existence, that he went as far as mentioning him in this game he's playing with Cody is upsetting. It makes William's world more solid and taints the real world, which was safer and good and bore no traces of him.

If he was strong enough, he could just ignore what he just read, but those words push buttons deep inside of him, triggering habits that he had struggled to break and are too easy to get back into. So, no matter how hard he tries, he already knows the mood of this entire date has already changed, and there's nothing he can do to avoid it. It took William three sentences to wipe out more than a year of therapy.

Cody is still holding the card when Leo enters the cafeteria, and he quickly puts it away in his bag.

Leo is wearing clothes coming straight from his clubbing wardrobe: a white fancy shirt – one of those Blaine chose for him at the beginning – black jeans and a long open sweater that brushes his hips. It's at least half of two outfits he likes to wear when they go at the _Prince of Persia_. Cody knows he chose those clothes to remind him where they stand and, judging by the rolled sleeves of both sweater and shirt showing the leather bracelets around his strong wrists, also to turn Cody on, which happened approximately the moment Cody set his eyes on him.

“Are you blushing?” Leo asks chuckling as he bends down to kiss him.

Cody blushes and looks down. “No,” he murmurs, and then blushing some more, he adds, “Maybe a little. You are very handsome.”  
“Handsome,” Leo repeats amused, sitting down. “Where did your vocabulary go? You're so formal!”

Cody blushes even more. “You look good,” he corrects himself, still looking down. “How did school go?”

Leo shrugs, nonchalantly. “Good enough to pass it, possibly not good enough for my supervisor, who thinks I've got the potential to become the next Annalise Keating. Unfortunately for him, but very luckily for me, I don't.”

Cody chuckles, a very compose, almost soundless laugh compared to his usual cheerful one, tho. “You don't want to find yourself in the position of covering up for some of your students' accidental murder of your cheating husband?”

“Not if I can avoid it,” Leo smiles, and Cody just squirms on his chair. Sometimes all Leo has to do is look at him and he feels butterflies in his stomach. “So, how was your day?”

“Um,” Cody flips a few pages of the menu, looking at it without reading it, his shoulders a little sagged. Then he realizes this is an horribly slouchy posture and straightens his back. “Sorry,” he says right away, looking up at him.

Leo blinks a couple of times at him, clearly puzzled. “For what, sweetness?”

Cody looks at him and it's almost unreal the way is mind shifts back to reality, to this place, to Leo and to the fact that Cody doesn't have to sit straight for Leo. Leo never asked him to. He shakes his head, “I was a little distracted,” he says, even if the excuse doesn't make him look better. Leo might not care for his posture, but he wants to be listened to. “There are so many yummy things in this place.”

“Oh, I know. I have one right in front of me.”

Cody turns purple, a shade of it he hasn't reached in months, but he just looks down. “Thanks,” he murmurs. “Anyway, this morning I worked on the projects for next week, so I'll be free this week end.”

“Good planning,” Leo comments, approvingly. He always leaves him the time to study during the week end, if Cody has to, but he'd obviously rather make use of all Cody's time as he pleases. “What about your classes?”

Cody shakes his head. “I didn't have any.”

“Good,” Leo nods again, with another smile.

He never, ever doubts Cody's words, and it took Cody's weeks to get used to it. Leo asks questions and always accept Cody's answers, because he trusts him to tell the truth. And he never interrogates him to put him on the spot or expecting him to give the wrong answers. He just cares for him, and he's supposed to make sure everything is okay with him.

It was never like that with William. Cody would never lie to him, but William only believed him when he said that he had failed at doing something. Anything positive, William would say he was lying. Or if he couldn't say that because Cody had proof of what he was saying, then Cody was taking pride in something anyone could have done. It was an exhausting, and ultimately pointless, task trying to please him or avoid humiliation.

“So, what is it gonna be this time?” Leo asks, nodding towards the menu. “It's an all-you-can-eat day. Do your worst, I'm waiting.”

Leo's playfulness weighs on him like a stone as he looks at the menu. Everything looks delicious to him, but there's a voice in the back of his mind reminding him that a proper individual doesn't stuff his face with whatever he wants just because he has the chance to do it.

“You're such a pig!” William used to say, with such amount of disgust in his voice – which he kept low enough for him to hear but not anybody else – that Cody would drop whatever he was munching at with tiny, mousy bites and stop eating all together. At some point, he had started to eat only a very small portion of whatever he ordered by himself, because he knew that William didn't approve of it, anyway. Only when William ordered for him, sighing in resignation, Cody dared to eat everything.

Besides, William only went to fancy restaurants, where menus showed courses he had never heard of before, so Cody wouldn't have known what to choose half the time they were out for dinner. It was better to let William choose for him, at least he couldn't disappoint him by ordering a burger with fries. Like a kid.

“I think I'm gonna have a hot cocoa,” he peeps, eventually. “Thank you.”

Leo blinks. “That's it?” He asks. Cody nods, forcing himself to look at Leo. He doesn't want to appear too fidgety, even if he's probably already doing a bad job. “Are you alright?”

Cody nods again, more quickly this time. “I'm fine,” he says.

“It's okay if you want something else, Cody,” Leo insists and, finding his Dom's voice somewhere in the mess his head becomes every time he suspects Cody is not alright with what they're doing, he adds, “I'm allowing it.”

“I know, sir. Do I have to take something else?”

“No, of course not. Just if you want to.”

“I don't want anything else,” Cody says again. And by the time the last syllable leaves his mouth, he knows he won't call him _sir_ again. In fact, he doesn't want to. He needs Leo to say something about it. No, to do something about it. But when he looks up at him, maybe a little defiantly, to see what's gonna happen, he finds concern in Leo's eyes, not anger.

And it's nice, but it hurts.

*

The fourth card comes less than a week later.

It's typical of William to keep the timing random, so Cody can never know when the next blow will come. This card is wordy like the previous one and it aims to crash him harder. Cody didn't expect William to step up the game so quickly – or better he had stopped expecting and just braced for anything – but he should have known better than this. But wasn't it always the point with him?

Cody doesn't have a job, so he doesn't have a regular income, but he takes art commissions and he has a Patreon account. He doesn't make enough money out of it to pay for college – he has to rely on his parents for that – but it helps with the bills and allows him to buy stuff he likes every now and then. As a matter of fact, he tries to save some money from every commission to go on a shopping spree every two or three months. It's a treat he gives himself, it makes him feel good.

Cody has always liked clothes, and he bought them even before Leo was in the picture, but now he specifically buys himself clothes with Leo in mind. Not only because he likes to please him, but because he absolutely loves the way he reacts to a particularly spot-on piece of clothing. Cody has lost count of the times his Master just took him without bothering to undress him. Sometimes Leo likes how Cody looks while he fucks him in his new pair of panties, sometimes his brain just doesn't let him waste time taking those panties off. In both cases, Cody enjoys the whole process illegally.

Today, he came into his favorite store and literally unleashed himself among the aisles. He has come here so many times before that the salesgirls know him already, and they stopped frowning at his habit of buying more clothes for girls than for boys a long time ago. In fact, some of them even suggest him shirts and shorts in the right size.

In the beginning, he just brings with him all the things he already tried on and decided to buy, but after a while, the amount of clothes in his hands hinders the whole process of taking tons of clothes off the shelves and try them on before adding them to the to-buy pile, so he takes everything to the counter and tells the lovely Kathy – his favorite salesgirl – that he wants to check a few more things before he leaves. She chuckles and says he can take his time, but he's already off again. He knows he saw a frilly skirt somewhere that would just blow Leo's mind.

The skirt, three pairs of stockings and another shirt later, he finally goes back to Kathy, ready to give her all the money he has. “I think I'm done,” he says, holding his wallet. 

She presents him with four paper bags. “Here you go,” she smiles at him. “You are a very lucky guy.”

He doesn't understand what she's referring to, possibly to the fact that he can basically wear anything he wants, but it's a nice thing to say, so he smiles. “Thank you,” he answers. “How much is it?”

“Oh, nothing. It's already been paid for,” Kathy says. “Your boyfriend said he wanted to make you a surprise. He even left a little more for the things you were trying on. If I may, he's really cute.”

For a moment Cody really, really hopes she's talking about Leo. After all, a gesture like this is in the realm of possibilities with him. Leo likes to buy things for him and most of the toys they play with were bought by him. He looks around: if it was Leo paying for him, he must still be here. What would be the point of paying and leaving when they're gonna see each other in a few hours?

“Is there something wrong?” Kathy asks.

“What did he look like?” Cody asks, a bit more frantically than he would like to.

“Uh, tall, very elegant,” Kathy tries to summarize. She wasn't expecting the question. “Blonde.”

Cody closes his eyes, trying to remain calm. He can't break down in here. He can't break down in here. “All right, thank you,” he says hastily as he grabs the bag and leaves the store. He's not even afraid that William will be outside, waiting for him, because he knows he won't be. He likes to play with him, he wouldn't ruin his precious game by actually showing himself so soon.

Cody walks fast down the street. He would like to run, but there's a part of him still holding on to the idea that he can't give that man everything. He's scared and he's angry, but he won't run. He reaches the closest park and spills the content of his bags on the first picnic table he sees. He knows the card must be in one of them and he rummages through the clothes until he finds it.

It's like all the others, but meaner. _Consider this as a gift for your ridiculous boyfriend. Despite your disgraceful taste in clothes, I couldn't give you away without the compliments of your previous owner. This is how it's properly done with used goods, no matter how damaged they are._

Cody screams into his own hands, against the thick texture of the card. 

He screams and screams, and he doesn't stop even when he sees people looking at him. They must think that he's crazy, but he can't help it. He feels so hopeless. He needs to let something out or these overwhelming feelings are going to crack him from the inside.

It's his breath that fails him first and his scream dies out, until he's left only with tears. So he cries, and he would like to say that it makes him feel better, but these are not tears that can help him, just the only defensive response he's got, which is a poor one indeed. He sniffs and stands up the moment he sees the first woman approaching him with a concerned look on her face. He doesn't want to make excuses for the wreck he is right now. He quickly puts all his clothes back in their bags. He can't wear them for Leo anymore, can he? Not now that William paid for them.

He should throw them away. They're all tainted.

Like the cards, like the orchid, like himself.

*

The fifth card doesn't come because Cody does everything he can to make sure that it doesn't.

He starts by avoiding the mail and the doorbell, unless he knows for sure someone's coming, and at the end of a very tensed week, he becomes straight out paranoid, refusing to leave the house, in case another waitress, a salesgirl or a stranger in the middle of the street could approach him and give him something from William. At some point, even school stops being an option. He feels guilty about it – even more guilty when he lies to Leo, saying he's attending when he's not – but he just can't bear the idea of walking the school's corridors knowing that William will most likely be there watching him.

The only thing that's still safe is going to Leo's house because Leo comes pick him up on Thursday and brings him back home on Sunday night, and since he never lets him out of his sight, people have no way to bring Cody messages. Or at least that's what he hopes.

It works for about two weeks and a half, but he grows restless. 

He thought that avoiding the possibility of a new card was going to be enough, but the truth is that being blindsided by a new vicious message is way less stressful than waiting anxiously for it to arrive. He's constantly tense and everything makes him jump. He can't enjoy anything anymore, and being unable to go out is not helping his mood either. He's losing control over his life once again and it's happening so easily that it frightens him. Last time it didn't end well. It's like rolling down a slope with no way of stopping himself, knowing that at the end of it there's a ravine he barely missed by an inch once already.

How lucky can he be?

So, his head is a real mess comes Thursday. He packs his bag with automatic gestures, without really keeping track of the time. Unconsciously ignoring his rules. When he leaves the building, Leo's SUV is already parked a few feet down the road, the internal light on and music coming off from it. Cody opens the back door first and throws his duffel bag on the backseats, then climbs on the front seat, closing the door behind himself.

“I've been here for five minutes,” Leo complains, his voice stern. The clock on the dashboard mercilessly reads 6:05, confirming that Cody is late. They can be on and off their D/s dynamic during the rest of the week, but when he comes picking him up on Thursday, Leo starts with it right away. There's no easing into it, and Cody loves it, because at that point he usually needs it on a physical level.

“I'm sorry, sir,” he says, his voice lower than usual. “I didn't look at the clock.”

“And what are you wearing?” Leo continues, looking him up and down. Cody didn't put much care into his outfit, in fact he didn't put any care into it at all. He just went out wearing his house clothes, that are old, worn out and too big for him. He likes them because they are comfy and easy to wear, perfect for when he's slouching around the house, but they're absolutely nothing like the clothes Leo wants to see on him when they're together. In fact, one of his rules is that he must be always dolled up at any given time when Leo's around. His Master doesn't ask much in terms of elegance, Cody's outfits can very well be practical as long as they're cute, but surely an old gray tracksuit doesn't qualify as an acceptable outfit. “Do you want to make me angry?”

And there it strikes Cody. Something just goes off in his brain and sheds a light on what is going on with him. Yes, he wants to make Leo angry. Yes, he wants him to take him back and set him straight. He wants order and control, and he can't clearly get it for himself. None of these thoughts are really conscious, but he can feel it in his head, the shift those seven words make. “No, sir,” he answers, but his voice says otherwise.

They ride the rest of the way in silence. Leo is learning not to give in to rage and to never lose his composure – even if judging by the way Blaine and Matt behave, he's still got a long way to go – but Cody can feel his tension radiating from his body, it's almost a feeling of warmth, and it makes his skin prickle. Cody usually doesn't set the tone of their time together so quickly, he'd rather see if Leo is calm enough for it to be a pleasant thing for both of them, but tonight he doesn't care. If he has to jump start Leo, he will.

Leo's house is twenty minutes away from Cody's, so it's not a long ride, but it takes enough time for Leo to be pretty annoyed when they get there. Leo always gets progressively angrier when he doesn't deal with some problem right away, especially when he's been forced to be silent about it for a very long time. “Get out of the car,” he says. Cody complies right away and he's not surprised to see Leo grabbing his bag for him. It's either grabbing that or him for Leo, and it's too early to grab him. Whatever is ahead waiting for him, it's not coming quickly nor cheap.

The house is dark, which means Adam made himself scarce right from the start. He's usually there when Cody arrives, and sometimes they even spend some time together, the three of them, before Adam leaves the house to come back only when he knows he won't find them fucking on the couch. Cody waits next to the door, his arms loose along his body. He's got his own keys just in case, but he never uses them. “Get inside,” Leo tells him. He waits for him to enter the house and then follows him. He closes the door and locks it. So no Adam, at least for tonight.

Leo drops his bag on the floor. Cody moves to pick it up and take it to his and Leo's bedroom, but Leo stops him. “No,” he says sternly. “Take off your shoes, pants and sweatshirt, first. If you don't want to wear the clothes you're supposed to, then you're not gonna wear anything.”

Cody pauses for a moment, but it's not hesitation. He just needs a moment to manage the shiver that runs through his spine. “Yes, sir,” he murmurs. He could just takes everything off quickly because there was nothing sexual in Leo's request. He's just annoyed that Cody basically came here wearing pajamas, but it doesn't really take much for him to be turned on, if you know him. 

Cody kicks off his shoes and then he disappears into his sweatshirt for a moment, he pretends to get entangled in it. He shows Leo his belly when the tank top he's wearing underneath just raises a little. When he turns around to put the sweatshirt on his bag and be in the perfect position to bend over and take his pants off too, he can feel Leo struggling behind him. He's not wearing panties that are particularly triggering for Leo, but they're still panties and they do the trick anyway.

“This is all you're gonna wear for tonight,” Leo says. 

“Yes, sir,” Cody nods. Luckily, it's pretty warm in the house.

“Now take your stuff and put it away,” Leo continues, clearly eager to get him out of his sight for a moment or two. “And since you've wasted five minutes earlier, you've only got two left.”

“Yes, sir,” he says again. He walks fast towards the bedroom, but not too fast. Time might be an issue for a little longer.

When he finally comes back at least ten minutes later, Leo is standing next to the couch and he doesn't seem happy at all. He didn't come find him of course – his role is not reminding him that he's about to break a rule – and he probably spent this time thinking how to deal with him. Cody's anticipation leaves almost a trace in his mouth, and whatever it is, it's sweet. “I see that you can't read the time anymore,” Leo welcomes him. “So maybe you need to learn how to do it again. Fetch the paddle.”

Cody opens his eyes wide. “Sir?”

“You heard me.”

Cody shivers again, it's incredible how certain tones in Leo's voice can push buttons inside of him. This time, he walks as fast as he can without running towards their bedroom. They've been at it long enough now to have a chest full of toys in a corner. The ideal thing would be a proper playroom, but they're still pretty much amateurs and they don't have the means for that. The chest works just fine, tho. It's a nice, ancient-looking thing, and it's big enough to contain everything. He has to rummage through it a little to find the paddle – a tiny one, covered in leather – because they don't use it that much, but he finally finds it, and he's quick to return to the living room, where he finds Leo exactly as he was before.

Cody delivers the paddle to him, and then steps back. “Don't just stand there, get in your waiting position,” Leo orders him. “Hands behind your back.”

Cody kneels down on the wooden floor. Keeping his hands behind his back unbalances him, but the effort of keeping himself up makes him focus. He tries to look down, but he can't help stealing glances at Leo, who never looked more threatening and yet exciting than he does now.

Leo places the paddle on the couch, then with slow, deliberate gestures, he starts rolling up his sleeves. Cody could watch him do just that for hours. It only takes that one simple movement for his knees to give in. Leo takes off his watch and then sits down on the couch. “Stand up, come over here.”

Cody winces, because kneeling on the floor is not like doing it on the carpet and his legs are protesting. He gets closer and expects Leo to bend him over his legs, but he doesn't. “Take this,” he says instead, giving him his watch. Only when Cody is holding it firmly in his hands, Leo grabs him by his forearm and pulls him down. Leo's knees dig into his stomach for a moment, but then Leo maneuvers him into a more comfortable position.

“Look at the watch,” Leo tells him. “And count the minutes.”

Cody waits for the clock hand to pass the number twelve. “One,” he says. Leo doesn't hit him too hard, but the paddle increases the strength of the impact. And despite the fact that Leo avoided the back of his legs, where it would have hurt more, his ass tingles and feels warmer anyway.

As the clock keeps ticking and its hand moves along the clock face to make another turn, Leo's hand massages him in slow, circular motions, both easing the pain and teasing him.

“Two,” Cody counts. The second blow tears a tiny whimper from his lips and leaves his ass throbbing. 

“Don't whine,” Leo says. “That's what you deserve for making me waste time I could use to do way better things to you.”

Cody winces as the clock hand gets closer to twelve again. “Three,” he says and the paddle comes down his ass one more time. It's a stinging pain that fades right away, when Leo's hand rests on him, his fingers diving between his thighs this time. Leo strokes him slowly and relentlessly, bringing him dreadfully towards the next blow and yet making the wait sweeter.

“Four,” Cody closes his eyes and he receives the next blow, bracing for it, not resigned to it. It both makes him cry two big, fat tears and parts his legs, eager for Leo's hand to fondle him after the pain.

This inevitability is comforting. It comes as a punishment for something he really did, and yet it doesn't leave him hating himself for making a mistake. Pain always comes with pleasure, and pain itself is the consequence of a choice – his choice. It's a cause-effect situation, not the whim of someone else, something he can't control.

“Five,” Cody moans, half in pain and half in pleasure. His eyes still closed, he feels Leo's fingers dig deeper between his legs, finding his cock and palming it better. Cody grinds against his hand, pressing himself down on it as much as he can, annoyed by the fabric of the panties that prevents him from feeling his Master's skin. Leo allows him to do that for a little while, then he takes away his hand. “No, wait...”

Leo ignores him. “I hope you will remember the value of every minute next time,” he says instead. “Now on your knees, I'm not done with you.”

Cody stands up slowly, his legs shaking. His ass feels sore, but he's horny, and the wetness between his legs is not helping him at all. He sniffs, and then he realizes that he's crying; not just those two, fat tears, but a lot of them, streaming down his cheeks.

“Cody,” Leo says sternly, trying to bring him back to some sort of composure. But his voice unlocks something inside him. Cody feels it click deep inside his stomach, and he's sobbing the moment after. Sobbing so hard that he can barely breathe as he throws himself in Leo's arms.

“Red!” He hiccups. “Red! Red, please, red!”

The light immediately shifts in Leo's eyes, and just like that they're out of the game. He wraps him in a hug and kisses him on his head. “It's okay. It's over,” he murmurs. “You're fine. I'm here.”

Cody sobs louder, but it's not desperation, it's relief.  
He hides his face in Leo's chest, holding onto his shirt, and he knows Leo won't let go of him until he's done. His boyfriend just sits back down on the couch and pulls Cody with him, he cuddles him against his body and lets him cry.

He can let out all his fears, his frustration, the feeling of hopelessness knowing that Leo is there to hold him. Everything he bottled up, now comes pouring out of him in uncontrollable sobs that take away his breath for seconds at the time, but they are so needed and so welcomed that he doesn't even care. 

Leo only rules over him as far as Cody lets him, and his freedom is always one single word away with him. The power game between them is just that, a game that begins and ends with them. He knew that, but he needed proof. He needed to start and stop it. He needed to control things.

And now he feels safe for the first time in weeks.


End file.
